SELF-LED EATING
Self-Led Eating is the synthesis of mindful eating and the Internal Family Systems Model. IFS is a psychotherapy model developed in the 1980’s by psychologist, Dr. Richard Schwartz.
Why we eat when we are not hungry and don’t eat when we are hungry, why we struggle with feeding ourselves…. is due to complex, multi-dimensional, legacy laden conditioning. IFS is a process which can help crack the code of emotional eating. Mindful eating is the practice of compassionately bringing the Body back to the table.
IFS empowers clients to trust and heal themselves of old wounds and mistaken beliefs about their worth. It operates from an understanding that although we have a complex inner system including exiled vulnerable parts, managerial, protective, and impulsive parts, often in extreme and conflicting roles, there is an abiding, essential SELF, which is calm, clear, connected and compassionate.
SELF knows when, what, and how much to eat. SELF is responsive, rather than reactive. The truth is, that we are all inherently SELF-regulated and can re-connect to this knowing.
Imagine a boardroom meeting with the responsibility of deciding when, what and how much to eat.
When there is Parts-led eating, the seats at the table are dominated by Managers and Fire-fighters (harsh critics, perfectionists, obsessive diet managers, rebels, comfort seeking parts, for example.)
Under the table are the vulnerable parts (Exiles), which feel shame, hurt, empty, hopeless, and unsafe, for example.
Parts at the table try to silence, sedate, ignore, fix, distract or placate these exiled parts in an attempt to regulate unacceptable emotions.
That requires demonization of and disconnection from the Body. When, what, and how much to eat becomes driven by parts rather than the reality of the moment. It’s a never-ending tag team of reactive behaviors around food. It is anarchy.
In SELF-Led eating, the SELF is the calm head of the table with the Body at its side. SELF allows the Body to say whether or not it is hungry, and what would satisfy it. It invites all vulnerabilities to be at the table and even consults them as to what food may feel appropriate to their mood. SELF can differentiate emotional hunger from nutritional hunger and respond appropriately to each.
Due to the SELF’s clear, calm, compassionate and confident leadership, the parts, who were trying so hard, but failing, to manage eating and weight can feel understood for their good intentions... as opposed to blamed and shamed. They can relax back to allow SELF to witness, and validate the exiled parts who hold painful stories and mistaken ideas about themselves and their worth.
In SELF’s presence, these “burdens” can be released, allowing parts to feel safe to be who they are meant to be. They are freed to take back their preferred roles, and exist harmoniously together.
For many who are parts-led, ‘caring for’ themselves is just another odious chore. However, when SELF is leading the way, ‘care’ becomes a natural, satisfying response to normal needs. SELF unconditionally cares.
The Wedge of Awareness
Self creates space between an impulsive thought and a compulsive action.
